Scarlet Corinth

Confession # 80

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 08:57:20 GMT

I resigned today in my graveyard shift work.

And it never felt this good.

Confession # 79

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 21:52:26 GMT

1. Sometimes I wonder if I need to see a Psychologist.
2. Sometimes I just wish to ditch every responsibility and pretend I have amnesia, that I don't remember anything.
3. Sometimes, I don't want to see the guy anymore. Maybe that would be the cure. Or maybe I'd just treat him as invisible man. That he doesn't exist and I don't see him. I am even tempted to remove him from my friends list.
4. Sometimes, I wonder if what I do still matters.
5. Sometimes, I keep dreaming about high school and get amazed at the wonder of it all.
6. Sometimes, I wanna be free to do anything I want to without having to worry about my gender, my status, the people around me.
7. Sometimes, I get extremely bored that I crave for something great.

Today,
I think I am the most Emo of them all.

Confession # 78

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 00:18:40 GMT

I can't help this but I think I just started crying again inside me.
That means, there are frozen tears but it's all breaking up inside.
It's been almost half a year since I rested in the idea that there's a break.
I didn't have to worry for a while about any other girl, but recently,
there are observations about this certain girl and this other girl,
and today, one of these is being confirmed by a friend
and that hits me; rock bottom.

What if... what if...???

Hmm. I can go on and on thinking about this, and that's a start again of the unrequited love syndrome. Maybe that works well because it brings out all the creative emo stuff in me, so expect that. And since it's Valentines Day next week too, what else can make it worse than seeing Him make a subtle move to this girl.

Ha!

Inhale. Exhale.
Are we having fun yet?

Confession # 77

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 03:49:39 GMT

I must say I am one independent woman;
But there are times like today that I want to have somebody to depend on.
A person to whom I can share all these burdens with.
Somebody who at the end of the day would wait for me and ask me how my day went.
Somebody who would tap me and appreciate me for a job well done.
Somebody who would embrace me tight when I am mad or sad and then everything would be alright.
You know... that person that is meant to love me forever
and would be with me til death do us part.

Honestly...

Confession # 76

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 17:37:51 GMT

I have a new crush. Haha.
Yes. him. you're right.

Another addition to my huge collection.

Confession # 75

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 01:19:00 GMT

I was able to clean up my stuff and I have found some precious stuff like letters and love letters from way before. I am a fan of love letters. Reading them reveals so much of the heart of the writer... Or I can say that because I pour out my heart everytime I write? Oh well, so I went through them and it feels funny. Now I can appreciate some of it that was sort of annoying back then. They were incredibly written.

So today somebody is writing to me online. Somebody I don't know. Isn't that weird.
But I can get a hint that the random writing is being done to random people too.
So that doesn't really make it any special.

Ha. Sounds like some biyatch.
I try to be polite ya know..

Les Miserables Goodness.

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 08:49:34 GMT

And now I'm all alone again
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to.
Without a home, without a friend
without a face to say hello to
But now the night is near
And I can make-believe he's here

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head

On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him 'til morning
Without him, I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way, I close my eyes and he has found me

In the rain
The pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him, the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I'm lonely
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me, his world will go on turning
The world is full of happiness that I have never known

I love him
I love him
I love him...
But only on my own...

I AM SINGING THIS.
SO WHAT?

Confession # 74

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:32:42 GMT

Does it sound bad if I say I love Him?

HEHE. I DO. PROMISE.

Confession # 73

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 12:14:04 GMT

It's a mix of excitement and fear that I am hearing my mom saying she wants to have a grandchild soon. Excitement because that's something new.

My mom is a strict parent and she was the one who always told us not to have a relationship until after we graduated in college, and when relationships ever do come up in conversations, she would be against it, like some jealous mom not wanting her children to be taken away from her. I think she still has that, except she wants babies like how she sees some people my age do carry babies, with their grandparents swooning. So when she's asked if her daughter is already married or something, she doesn't have a story to tell. I'm not really sure about that, but it's quite awkward if that topic ever gets to discussion lane.

Fear on the other hand because, having children is not easy. As I've said, I am excited about getting married and having lots of babies but when I see my friends struggle and even worry about milk and necessities, it slaps me to reality.

Oh well, I should get a boyfriend first right?
Just a random thought.

Confession # 72

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 01:58:21 GMT

So what's wrong with us?
I can say that I can accept that.
That's what love can do.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE